The Love Song of J. Edgar Hoover

Currently I am reading two books, but I put both of them on hold for a few days when, through a twisting path worthy of a Kinky Friedman novel – well – I came into temporary possession of… a Kinky Friedman novel. Monkey Boy, a colleague here in Mie, decided to aid his house cleaning efforts by relieving himself of the burden of myriad books left in succession by his predecessors at his work-provided apartment. Perusing the list I selected a number of volumes of which I hope to write forthwith; however, one volume caught my eye in a peculiar way that niggled or tickled my interest, but not to that point where I selected it. I convinced a friend from Nabari – who was coming to my home to receive my former gas range – to tote the books with him on the way. Some juggling occurred when a colleague in Ise asked if I could get that same book from Monkey Boy for him. On Saturday’s range-getting trip my friend delivered The Love Song of J. Edgar Hoover by J. Edgar Hoover; and a few emails generated a plan for my Ise colleague to visit Wednesday after work. Mind you, my life is not so lonely that the sole purpose of the visit is to pass a book: we’ll talk over some home-brewed coffee and plot the salvation of the masses while he’s here.

During my time in Texas, I was introduced to Kinky through my subscription to Texas Monthly which contained his column. As a Chicago-born, Jewish cowboy one might consider him unique, but add to that his work as musician, writer and aspiring politician and you’ve got one of a kind.

Having less than four days custody of my colleague’s book, I decided to give it a look. Only 238 pages of moderately large print, divided into 49 chapters of 1 to 10 pages in length made it manageable. The book is one in a series of detective novels written with the author himself as the main character: an under-sexed, vulgar, middle-aged, depressed eccentric, living in meager surroundings, and with an eclectic mix of acquaintances.

Friedman makes almost exclusive use of:

• puns
• innuendo
• name-dropping
• cultural references (predominantly from the 30s to the 70s)
• slang (much of his own construction)
• random trivia (what bird has two feathers for each quill?)

None of which necessarily make for high-quality writing; however, his irreverence and dark satire are probably catchy for a number of readers. All in all, I found that each chapter contained something of interest for me and led me to the next. Under all the dark meandering thoughts of his character, the basic story was amusing and somewhat deep. He chose an interesting little twist of implication on the final page.

I found myself digging through my brain (since I have no internet at the moment) to find the references to historic figures, of which I think I recalled all but one. Since he often mentions fictional characters as if he were name-dropping, it is a little unclear. Many younger readers will find it a challenge unless they are a history buff or are sitting with Google nearby. A few literary references to Shakespeare, Sherlock Holmes, etc. find their way to the pages as well.

One critique which stands out is that the entire Chapter 42 could be stricken from the book without loss. Basically, two characters participate in a rant against a certain government agency which didn’t serve to advance the story, so much as to just sound preachy. Chapter 43 returned to the same vein as the story and referenced the important points from 42.

Do you like cultural references, satire, irreverence toward powerful government institutions and entendre? This could be for you. Even if you don’t, like me you may find some amusement; after all, any book using the word ‘tump’ has to have a little charm.

Case of the Missing Shoes

On May 16th I had a wedding in Kameyama (亀山) Japan. Yes, I owe my readers a ton of write-ups on this and the surrounding events, but I’m not ready for all that right now; particularly since I am leaving on the ‘real’ honeymoon just days hence. However, here’s a little humorous bit.

Naturally, Japan is far from America so it was hard for most family and friends to make it to the wedding; however, one couple of friends from America and one friend from Thailand managed to make the trip. The couple, Steve and Denise, who came in from America have a certain love for Japan and so, first stopped in Tokyo to play with other friends before finding their way down here.

Efficiency is important for good, active travel and Steve did a good job of being efficient. In this case, almost too efficient. He packed one pair of shoes which were suitable for hoofing it around for sightseeing and such, but also were nice enough to serve as wedding guest attire. Unfortunately, shortly after arriving in Ise, they were out for a walk and his footwear failed.

He rang me up and in a very understated tone, informed me of a need for some repair. He was interested in some tape or a shop that could quickly solve his troubles. Nothing he said had fully prepared me for the extent of the problem… apparently, from the toe to the heel, all down one side of the shoe, the sole and the upper had come apart. At this point, I don’t think it can be classified as a shoe any longer.

Comparing foot sizes, I found that we were probably close enough that he could use my shoes. I pulled out a pair of running shoes, which I might wear to walk in, but was wanting replacements to do any running. I also had a pair of Panama Jack’s, which are nice shoes, but I rarely wear them in the heat here. Steve managed to survive the remainder of the trip on these two pair.

I thought there was a lot of humor involved in this, but I’m not sure Steve felt the same way. Just one of those trials that pops up in life. I was under the gun to finish writing vows and various other tasks, so you know that’s when something will go wrong.

The next chapter is even funnier, or at least I hope it turns out so. On the wedding night, all the foreign guests went by boat to the airport hotel with us. Steve donned the running shoes and doffed the dress shoes to lighten his load. He saw an opportunity at the dock and put the dress shoes in our car with other goods, my wedding clothes, presents, etc. After the ‘practice’ honeymoon, we returned home and collected all the items from my parents-in-law, but I never found the shoes. Everytime I plan to visit their home, I think “now I can get the shoes!”; however, I always get distracted and forget to ask. Now, everyone’s memory is washing away and the location of the shoes has become a mystery. In the next month or so, I hope to solve it all.

Yesterday I bought new running shoes! They were 30% off on clearance. The display model was the only pair left and they were marked down an additional 10%… I guess that would be 37% off. In Japan, finding shoes about 26 or 27 cm gets tricky, yet these shoes were a nice-fitting 27.5 cm pair. Happiness.