Almost every Japanese woman who hears that I am in the midst of wedding planning says, “Oh, this is the funnest time!” To which I reply, “No, it isn’t.”, and they go on and on about how fun it is.
Six months ago when we were kicking ideas around, it was really fun creating a mental image of how we could entertain our guests and make good memories for us. In May, drinking and dining with friends and family and rushing off to a honeymoon to relax together seems incredibly fun. However, right now neither of us has time, it is hard for us to go anyplace together, people are requesting changes which delay things, our announcements are going to fall beyond the ‘politeness’ deadline, et cetera, et cetera, … Call me silly, but I don’t think this is the most fun part.
Wednesday through Thursday we got to spend more than two days together planning and suddenly the suffering diminished and the fun grew. As per my expectations, if someone has a lot of time on their hands, then the midst of the planning can be fun. Visiting restaurants, sampling foods, trying on different outfits, staying at hotels, all become exciting when you have nothing else to occupy your mind.
Both my girlfriend and myself had separate but common experiences. One person was just too annoying, so finally politeness broke down and I asked them, “Were you ‘free’?” I used the word hima (暇) which carries an implication of idleness or laziness. I asked in a polite tone, but the implication was understood. She thought hard for a few seconds and replied affirmatively. Indeed, her husband was working 9 to 5 and she was not working, giving them many opportunities to make plans. My girlfriend’s experience was similar but her friend is now working at the same business, so she could quickly understand the restrictions of a 24×7 job on the planning process.
Anyhow, things are moving forward and I will be on vacation for almost half of March, so a lot will get done during that time… and I’ll get some sleep.