Toasted Toilet Paper Rolls


If that title doesn’t bring in the cooking afficionados, I don’t know what will. My girlfriend was kind enough to make some really tasty tonjiru (豚汁) for my consumption. It was so tasty and there were left over ingredients, so I took a shot at making my own soup on Saturday night. There was no pork and I skipped the miso, so it was more of a basic vegetable soup: daikon (大根) radish, bok choy, leeks, and seaweed stock. It turned out pretty good.

Sunday night I ate brick-oven pizza at Prego II, so Monday night I wanted to use the rest of the perishable ingredients. I planned to grab a little pork at the supermarket, but got distracted by the prepared meals – which go on sale after about 6pm – and bought two small burger patties with broccoli and weiners. I grated a mound of daikon, poured a little yuzu ponzu over that, thinly sliced some green onions to put in some miso soup, and heated the goodies from the store in the toaster oven.

An odd, slightly burnt (or maybe toasted) fragrance was wafting out from the appliance. I peeked at the demi glace sauce, expecting to see it carmelized; however, it looked fine. Just as I was preparing for a fit of confusion I glimpsed the source, under the grating, at the back of the toaster, next to the hot element, was a toilet paper roll, lightly browned and looking as scrumptious as anything that’s been near a toilet could.

Puzzling out how it possibly got there was difficult. My girlfriend informed me that my toilet paper ran out a couple weeks back. Being tall enough to reach the high shelf, I went in and switched things out. I think I was doing something in the kitchen or laundry, so I set it down on the shelving at the entry to the kitchen. When the toaster was open, I guess the roll could have fallen down and rolled to the back. Outside of that, my only guess would be someone causing trouble; maybe when I had the nabe party. I’m just glad that I’m still A-R enough to remove every shred of highly combustible tissue from the roll: it could have been bad.


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