Communicating with women for whom I have special feelings is not a specialty of mine. After becoming a Christian and receiving “guidance” from a number of folks, I think I have actually gotten worse at this. I believe that God has someone special for me, and I want to take care of this problem so I can connect with her.

One of the complicating factors is the idea that a strong man should be protecting the woman and shouldn’t say anything to lead her on until he is sure of his feelings. Of course the flaw here is that the process of getting to know someone inherently draws them in, unless of course you are driving them away. It seems quite natural that both parties would become more and more interested and grow closer together.

Another complicating factor (for me) is that a number of scars from my youth make it hard for me to tell someone anything that might upset them. There is a lot of risk in any venture involving other humans, but hiding the risks inevitably makes the pain more severe and drawn out. In some cases, the avoidance actually brings about the problems which might not have existed otherwise.

Ironically, my hope is to have a relationship where we can share things openly with each other, knowing that it is always said in love. In this way most of the silly burdens and uncertainties could be lifted. In preparation for having some very frank discussions, as part of the new me, I have learned a few good words.

率直 socchoku is an adjective: frank, candid, open

新しい生活に生まれ変わりたいと思います atarashii seikatsu ni umarekawaritai to omoimasu is a phrase meaning “I want to turn over a new leaf and create a new life.”

If the conversations go well, I will tell you about them. Otherwise, …


4 Responses to “Frank”

  1. Sylvia Says:

    I’m a big fan of frank talk. Not only does it get problems solved, it’s just plain honest and respectful. Keeping secrets is asking for trouble. Good luck!

  2. びっくり Says:

    Well, I have seen a fair amount of pain caused by frank talk as well. However, I think it pales to the trouble caused by avoidance. Honesty and respect are of course desirable. So far, so good. Thanks for the well-wishing.

  3. Bahia Says:

    When you finally meet someone and fall in love with them, and they love you back, you will be able to be open and honest with them without difficultly. I think that’s when you know “it’s gonna work out”. At least, that’s what happened to me.

    In the mean time, take things slow, get to know people, and be open (but be careful! Get to know them a little before you share all of your secrets.).

    Good luck.

  4. Sunday Soundcheck 20 « Neo-新びっくりブログ Says:

    […] talked about sotchoku (そっちょく) on June 19th, but I’ll use it today because it has become an important word in my life. It means […]

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